On Hearing from God

January 26, 2018


Growing up, I heard lots about God's will, and about how important it was to obey it.  In high school in particular I remember being confused by this, asking people, "How do you KNOW what God's will is?  How can I know God is speaking to me?"  No one could quite give me a solid answer, which was frustrating.  I was quite confident that, if only God would tell me directly what I was supposed to do, I would be obedient...but I never seemed to hear from Him.

My first memory of attributing something to a sense of God's will was in searching for a college.  I traveled to visit the one my sister was attending.  It was the first college I'd stepped foot in; I was awed by the place, and agreed with their stances on the few things I considered important.  As I was in the midst of casting about, trying to figure out this whole "God's will" thing, I decided that this strong desire to attend that college must be what everyone talked about as far as, "you'll just know," or that sense of peace I'd heard about.   When I'd tell people I felt God was leading me to attend there, they'd accept it without questioning me.  I liked that.  In a time when life was uncertain - I didn't even know what to major in - it was comforting to have this one thing squared away.  

Since then, I've had several adventures in learning to sense God's voice and leading in life.  To share them all (or the ones I can remember) would take a very long time, so I'll try to just pick a few, to give you a flavor.

On one occasion I was in the grocery store, and I noticed a woman crying.  She turned and pushed her cart down a different aisle, clearly embarrassed to be weeping in public.  I was immediately filled with compassion, but not knowing what to do, I said a quick prayer, and promised God I'd go talk to her if I turned down the next aisle and she was there.  Sure enough, there she was.  She saw me and fled to another section, and knowing I needed to follow through but feeling foolish (she obviously wanted to be left alone), I boldly followed her and asked if she was ok.  She cried all the more, asked for a tissue (which I surprisingly had, and pulled out of my purse), and explained the difficult situation she was experiencing in her life.  I didn't know what to do, but in my head God said, "Go ahead...pray for her.  I dare ya."...so I did.  We parted ways, and she was grateful and noticeably calmer and no longer crying.  I was elated...euphoric even.

Here's perhaps my favorite:

Facebook post, September 14, 2014

There was something about these promptings, these situations where I felt like God was telling me to do specific things, that made me feel closer to God.  Sometimes He would speak through a particular passage I'd read in the Bible - usually meaning something different than it's specific context, but having a special meaning that related to me on that day, like a secret personal note hidden where he knew I'd find it.  Other times it was a sensation I'd get, almost a little out-of-body-like.  A few times it was actual words, once so clear it was just shy of audible.  Repetition was another sign: if a verse or passage of scripture, or a specific teaching would come up twice, or sometimes three or more times, I would say, "Ok, God's trying to tell me something here..." and pay extra attention, or dig into that topic some more.  Frequently books were the key - occasionally they'd all but leap out at me, from a friend's or family member's bookshelf, and I'd take that as a sign that God wanted me to read and learn from that particular book.  On a couple of occasions I was prayed over by someone gifted in the prophetic, and given direction in that way.  And of course occasionally he'd speak through sermons on Sunday mornings - I started taking notes for that reason, so I could write down and remember his promptings.

This was what I understood to be the relational aspect of God's dealings with me.  He spoke in unexpected places and unexpected ways sometimes, but I learned to be open to letting him communicate without restriction.  I taught other people what I'd learned, and frequently gave encouragement to others about the process of learning to know when it was God's voice (hint: trial and error).

It wasn't all rosy though.

Frequently there would be times of silence.

Often things didn't pan out like they should have, or just didn't make sense.

And when I'd just KNOW it was God's leading, and things wouldn't go as he'd revealed, then I'd find a way to explain that away, usually focusing on how I'd failed in some way.  Everything could have an explanation though - you just had to find the right angle to look at it.  The few times I couldn't reason out an answer, I'd sink deeper into despair, and worry that I was so off course I'd been abandoned; I would feel like my faith was dangling from the edge of a deep pit, holding on by its fingernails...until the next time I'd hear from him.

There are many, many other stories, but not all are fit for sharing, and I think you probably get the picture.  If you live in this same sort of world, I'm willing to bet you can relate to all of this, and would agree it's an accurate representation of what goes on internally.

So that's where I was.  What changed? Well, quite honestly, I started looking for this in the Bible.

It seemed odd, for something that was so vital in the Christian life, and emphasized so much by various teachers and Christian resources, that there's so little in the Bible addressing it.

The few verses that are used, I found upon close consideration, have to be removed from their context and/or twisted to have them be understood to be teaching anything like this.  A classic example is the "still, small voice" that Elijah heard.  In the interest of time, I won't get into all the specifics, but will refer you to this link.

I learned that this whole way of thinking is a mish-mash of a few different ideas, but the primary one has a name: "mysticism," (or sometimes called "enthusiasm").  Mysticism is simply this:

"The belief that direct knowledge of God can be attained through your subjective experiences of God or something godlike." - Jonathan Fisk, "Broken: 7 'Christian' Rules That Every Christian Ought to Break as Often as Possible"

"When a person claims to have direct connection/communication with the Lord, they are a mystic.  Typically, a mystic's connection/communication with the Lord occurs directly; they claim to receive some sort of unique, personal, and direct communication with the Lord, and it is not through the Bible." - Matthew Richard, "Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up?"

The problem with this is that God has never promised to deal with us other than through His Word.  Certainly He is able to communicate with us in any way He wants - He is the creator and is omnipotent, after all - but the question is not one of what He is able to do, but rather what He has said He will do.

Mysticism drove me inward, to look for God's unmediated connection with me there.  It caused me to become even more inwardly curved, and my naturally analytical mind loved dwelling on and parsing each and every emotion or feeling, every circumstance and subtlety, trying to discern what was being communicated to me.  I didn't want to miss anything, didn't want to miss out on what God had for me, didn't want to mess up and do the wrong thing, or inadvertently be disobedient and block God from working through me to do something truly amazing.

I've seen people paralyzed by this way of thinking, so terrified of doing the wrong thing that it's hard to make any decision at all.

What I found, as I have walked away from this mindset, is great peace and great freedom.  God's Word is certain.  It is solid, it is immovable, never changing, and powerful.  Indeed God does speak to us.  He has not abandoned us and left us to our own devices: He has given us everything we need in the Scriptures.

"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Indeed, I found that mysticism is in reality a denial of the sufficiency of Scripture.  We want something more, something new, something we perceive as more exciting.  Emotions and the morass of the human heart are certainly interesting; they are constantly in flux and can lead us down all sorts of interesting paths.  Unfortunately, they are unstable, they are tainted by sin, and are unfaithful and untrustworthy guides.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9

What I used to practice, to be totally honest, had a lot in common with the reading of omens. And it pains me to admit it but, the way I used to read the Bible had a lot of similarities to reading a horoscope. I wasn't looking to draw out the true meaning the text, I was looking for a special, personal understanding that spoke to my specific life circumstances at that moment. The plain Word wasn't enough; I thought it was old hat, bland, and impersonal.

But in that I was wrong. The Word of God is not boring. It is unchangeable, but it is also a deep mine you can never exhaust. The drama of the truth contained in its pages is utterly unrivaled; it is beyond captivating, and it is intensely personal. It is FOR ME. And it is FOR YOU.

God's Word truly has everything I need. His Law guides my steps, and His Gospel brings peace and joy when I inevitably fail to keep His Law perfectly. He deals with me in the objective, external Word, working through means. If He were to speak apart from the Word, it would need to be carefully tested according to the Scriptures, and if it didn't line up perfectly with the Word, would need to be discarded. And if it did line up? Well, that would make it superfluous.

I've heard this said a few different ways, and I really like it: If you want to hear God speak, read the Bible. If you want to hear God speak audibly, read the Bible out loud.

-M


Next post: On Baptism